I definitely have one. An ego, that is. Sometimes, it is too large to fit through the door. Of course, time and life frequently shrink it down to a more manageable size. When I finally decided to get serious about my writing, thanks to the encouragement of a wonderful friend and the realization that I could not continue my life not writing and not acknowledging my need to write, I realized my ego had to be checked at the door.
The value of the written word is really in the mind of the reader. Not everyone is going to like what I write. Heck! Sometimes I don't even like something I have written, so why should someone else? What it comes down to is if I like something I have written and feel it is worthy to share, I will do so. If the reader or the publisher does not like it, that is really OK. But, it does not mean that I should give up, quit writing or only write for myself. I DO write for myself. I write something I think I would like to read. When I write, if I don't care about my characters (love or hate them), my readers will not care about them either. If I don't like what I have written, why should I expect anyone else to do so?
Ego is great, but when it comes down to it, fear of a blow to my ego stopped me from stepping out. It stopped me from sharing my writing and because I was not willing to share it, gave me no motivation to continue writing. This year, I finally decided that whatever blows come my way, it was not worth denying the part of myself that needs to write. Now I write. Now I share what I write. I committed myself to it and have been pleasantly surprised that while I may never write 'The Great American Novel', some readers like what I write and I do too. It's a shame that the fear of a bruised ego kept my keyboard silent for so long. But, ... NEVERMORE. ;-)
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