Non-verbal communication

When not writing, I've found myself noticing little things much more.  Non-verbal communication is one of those things. 

I started thinking about it more as I drove to work on Thursday. So deep I thought, in fact, that I missed my exit for work that morning.  Why was I thinking so deeply about non-verbal communication?  I had a moment of non-verbal communication earlier in my trip. No. Not the single finger kind so common on our roadways.

The woman in front of me stopped for a school bus, picking up children. It is the law to do so. However, if you are on a four lane roadway and the bus is on the opposite side, going the opposite direction, you do not need to stop. Slow down and proceed with caution, sure, but no need to stop.

I shook my head and stated as much (not that she could hear me, but it made me feel better).  In my rear-view mirror, I caught a glimpse of the woman behind me. She was waving her hands,shaking her head and mouthing the same thing I had just said. I shrugged, raising my one hand and shook my head again. She smiled and shook her head, waving her hands as if to say 'No. Not you.'

It amused me and made me think about this form of communication.  It's very important to be able to capture those moments in our writing.  After all, it's non-verbal and would make a story feel awkward if we translated this into dialogue.  Which works better or seems more realistic?

'I am exasperated with you! I can't get through to you. So, I am done talking and am going to leave now!'

Or

She threw her hands in the air, shook her head and stomped out of the room, ending the heated conversation.

Obviously, it depends on the story, a writer's style and preference. However, it seems to me that we miss some depth if we aren't seeing, capturing and eventually utilizing non-verbal communication in our writing.

Value Added

At my day job, I am a project manager. It works because it covers the analytical/ bossy side if me. A question I frequently find myself asking my teams when they add a task or other effort to the project is 'How does this add value?'

As I drove home today, I thought about this question and my prior blog about outlines and character sketches and really to writing in general. This is probably a question we should be asking ourselves when we write.

How does this add value?

Does creating an outline or character sketches add value? What I've read indicates they do for some writers, not for others and at a certain point for others.

Shouldn't it be a question we ask ourselves frequently when writing and more so as we are editing?  Does this description add value? Does this scene, action or character add value?  Maybe we should be asking this question a lot.

Thoughts?

Purveyors of Hope

I read a book a bit ago.  I am not going to name title or author because I am still trying to figure out how I feel about it.  (Note: the book was not written by any of my followers.)  It was well written.  The pace was good.  It's the content that I am struggling with.

If asked to describe the book in one word, I'd answer 'Brutal.'  I came away from reading it feeling bruised and lacking in any hope.  Chapter to chapter, character after character had hope torn from them (if not their very lives).  Again, not saying whether I liked the book or not because I am still trying to process that.  But, it made me think.

Do I think we are purveyor's of hope and the happy ending?  I guess it depends on genre, but probably not.  My problem is I grow to really care about my characters.  I am not sure I could totally kill their hope.  Am I not cut throat enough?  I don't think so.  I am certainly capable of taking out any of my antagonists (sometimes in rather gruesome ways if it suits the story).  But, I truly care about my protagonists.  And, I should, shouldn't I?  As I have said before, if I don't, why should a reader?  Oh yes.  The current storyline may lead to the destruction of one or more of my protagonists after all my characters lead and I follow, but to kill of each and every one in chapter after chapter...I hope the story never leads us there.

The point.  The point.  Did I have one?  Not really other than looking for thoughts from others as to what they go through when the story leads to a bad place and how others feel about their characters.  Thoughts?

And, yes...'Put on your big girl panties and just get to it'...is an acceptable response.  :-)

Conversations with my husband

Going to shift from writing thoughts for a bit.

I think people sometimes wonder why I married Mike.  We are very different people. He's blue collar and only high school educated. I am white collar and college educated. I geek out about techie stuff and he freaks out about techie stuff. And, yet his weaknesses are my strengths and visa versa.

In truth, I think the biggest draw has turned out to be the conversations and his subtle wit. Which brings me to our latest conversation.

I was telling him about a texting conversation between my mother and I. We were discussing the cats and I had mentioned the fact the I was going to get scolded at the next vet visit with Willow and needed to have Mike chase her around the house more. My mother asked, 'Is that for Willow or for Mike?'

This led to me saying to Mike, 'I am getting fat.' Now, understand. I did not expect him to deny it. I did not expect to hear that it meant there was more of me for him to love. But, I also didn't expect his response.

'Gravity.'

'Great. So, you are saying your wife's boobs and ass are sagging?'

'No. It's making us shorter.'

In another conversation, I was ranting about a recent news article.

'Have we bred common sense out of America?', I asked.

'I blame bike helmets.' was his reply.

Why bike helmets?  It contradicts the principle of survival of the fittest. Think about it.

I knew I was in for this the night that he proposed. We discussed children. Neither of us were too concerned about having children or not, taking an if it happens great, if not that's great too view. The conversation then turned to names. Oh but not your standard names because there is a lot that can be done with the name Greene. Think about it. My two favorites were Seafoam and Putting (Putt-Putt for short). Eyed Monster only really worked in a last name, first name situation. Emerald and Jade seemed too normal. I suspect God knows what he is doing not giving us a child. After all, I am the aunt that praises her niece for a good burp. :-)

Is it all roses and romance? Of course not. Sometimes our differences cause some very loud spats. The thing is we continue to talk. If we keep doing that, who cares about gravity? :-)

Writer's community

Before committing to writing, I never thought much about the writing community. I guess I didn't think of writers HAVING a community. Now that I am working on a novel and have put myself out there on twitter, I am seeing a real community.

What I am finding are authors, published and unpublished, that are supportive of each other whether it be the same genre or not. I guess I always thought there would be more in the way of egos and competition than support. I am sure the competition and the back-biting that comes along with it is there. However, it is not as prevalent as I would have assumed.

I am learning that my own struggles are not unique. I am hearing about ways others have solved those same problems. I have also been made aware of something that was only a nebulous thought for me --- marketing. A part of me, the more realistic and less dreamy part that goes to an office 9-5 each day to pay for things like food and shelter, must have realized it and that's why I created this blog, Twitter and Facebook accounts. I never really THOUGHT about it though. To my conscious mind, these were for my author's bio, to be included with a horror anthology that had accepted one of my short stories and a piece of flash fiction. They would allow me to keep my personal accounts separate and allow readers that enjoyed (or hated and wanted to tell me so) my work to contact me. I didn't really think about the fact that these would also be the means to keep readers informed about what would be next, means to market my work and myself.  I know there is much more involved, but it's a start. 

So, thank you to those who have been so encouraging and welcoming! I do know, at minimum, my 'to-be-read' list has now increased in size. :-)

Trouble

I write previously about not being able to continue writing the novel I've been working on because I know that my characters would be leaving a happy place for a bad one. I did finally get back to them. They are heading for the bad place.  I thought it would be more difficult than it was, but five chapters just flowed out of me. I have hit another wall, but am confident that I will be able to move them forward at some point.

When I think about it, it's not necessarily a bad thing that I want to keep my characters safe and happy. It means I care about them. If I care about them, hopefully a reader will too.

While I wait for inspiration, the answer is to keep writing and hope my forever first reader doesn't give up on us.  And, I need to surround myself with others dedicated to writing. 

Sit down. Write. Write anything.

Writing to write

To be anything in life, you need to turn that skill into activity to hone your craft. Practice. To be a writer, I need to write. It doesn't always have to be a short story or a novel or even anything to be shared. By the simple act if writing, I learn a little more.

Simple. Writing isn't always simple. In fact, at times it can be painful. Nothing hurts worse than when the words simply won't come. The thoughts are trapped inside. It must be how someone unable to speak feels. Its a feeling if impotence. It's a feeling of helplessness.  Characters might be stuck on a precipice or turning point and you can't help them move or escape.

What I've forgotten is the one way to break down those barriers, free myself, save my characters is to simply write. Write anything. Write daily. 

I've seen calls from Jane Espenson on twitter for writing sprints. Unfortunately, I've either been at my day job or just missed it. Tonight, I was right on time. I only have my phone available at the moment so I decided to stick with a blog.

I love that she encourages writing like this.  I've been a fan of hers since 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'.  It is important to encourage each other to further refine our craft.  

What comes of this is a bit of free writing tonight which means, in my case, thoughts as they fall out of my brain. Poor you, if you are reading this. :-) I don't think they are all like this.

I do hope, once I am published that I continue to encourage others writers like Jane is doing. Without practice and practitioners, the art of writing could die out (doubtful, but the simple act of sitting down and handwriting a letter to a friend or loved one has all but died out so it could happen). 

Time just moves too quickly

I knew it had been a while since I've blogged. I didn't realize it's been over two years. Wow! All I can say is life happens. New job. Working on a novel. Stuck on the novel because my brain has been filled to capacity with reality. So, blogging fell to the wayside. 

Stress! That has to be the biggest time suck around. It's kept me focused on work problems. This has in turn made me forget about the need for balance.  I don't know why I have to keep learning again and again that balance is what keeps me sane(r). 

So, I am going to try to shut out reality for a while each day and just write...something...anything. Of course, that means, be prepared for babbling blogs, but at least I am writing. :-)